It'd be too long to summarize almost a millennia of years. Honestly, I don't think I remember a lot of it.
[ Time in the afterlife is a strange thing. Days do not exist. It is all one moment without a single seam. When a lot of it feels similar, it's hard to know exactly when an hour has passed and onward.
It's not to say he doesn't remember... He remembers some of his trials. He remembers his life as a mafia boss. But he doesn't think it's that important to share right now. Reunions shouldn't be ruined with tragedy and Lucas doesn't need to know he was trapped in a (haha) cage with a fate he couldn't fight.
There is no sorrow in it. He was satisfied with atoning, even though through those years he had wanted to see people again. It was buried under all his guilt, unfortunately. ]
Now... Yourself? Did you marry like your sister wanted you to?
[Said with a bit of startled and quiet awe. HELLO. HELP. IT'S BEEN A WHILE, SAID JACOPO, COMPLETELY UNDERSELLING HOW LONG IT'S BEEN. Lucas may lose track of time in the in-between, but his life was short and his stints in afterlives are also short, even with time bleeding into itself sometimes in the way it seems to do in this realm. He presses his fingertips lightly against his mouth for a moment, the gesture both thoughtful and reflecting some of his surprise.]
It's certainly been much longer for you than I, in that case.
[Multiple lifetimes! So many years of punishment... His fucking CAGE!! Sometimes you cage someone while you yourself are in the cage. It's not the circle of life out here but the circle of caging and being caged.
The question has him lifting his hand away from his face and waving it gently through the air in a soft sign of dismissal, though.]
I wasn't able to give her that, unfortunately... [Sometimes you love one person and then kill that person because they fall in love with Satan and then never find love again.] Though she'd be quite pleased to know that you asked after her wants so soon. I've already faced more than enough teasing over it, though.
[He was not teased, it was very depressing since Nadia just wanted him to get married quickly so she could SEE IT BEFORE SHE DIED but it's fine. Reunions shouldn't be ruined with tragedy.]
[ That's a nice sentiment, isn't it? Less feeling like he has missed out so much in people's lives, not that he had the right to see them or be a part of it. He will have to listen to them as stories and tales... Play them in his mind with whatever vivid imagination he can scrounge up.
The hand gesture already prepares him for the answer, shoulders already slackening in disappointment even though he doesn't care too much about love lives. However... Seeing people happy is good. That is what Nadia wanted? She should be happy. What about Lucas? This is about Nadia. ]
How come? You didn't pursue? They found someone else?
[This is the logic Jacopo was trying to stop Lucas from forming........ There's a very light little laugh, first.]
I suppose that's true...
[WHAT A WAY OF LOOKING AT IT but it is indeed true. Hundreds of years have passed for one of them and not even a decade for the other. Probably not even one single full year, honestly. The time he had while alive (again) was jam-packed with insane bullshit, but they're also not things he's particularly inclined to discuss ever, and especially not in this place made up of all things ideal.
Caring about Nadia is the right move to make in any case. Lucas would also agree. WHAT ABOUT HIM, THIS IS ABOUT NADIA!! He speaks with a touch of wry amusement.]
You assume that I had a person in mind to pursue in the first place.
[He did not. Not really, considering he'd never intended to make any sort of move and was just satisfied to support Ceres and her happiness from afar, but he prefers to speak like he never had any prospects in the first place. The same answer he'd give to Nadia: there's no one like that in my life.]
[ Suddenly, he makes this about Lucas against his will. Nadia would be on his side, he knows, even though he has never met her. A shrug. ]
There was that girl in that memory that you claimed to not remember or have.
[ Jacopo still remembers and has long started doubting a lot of what Lucas says about his own memories... It's not out of malice or distaste for his character, but his condition and state. Even if Lucas' mind wasn't full of holes, he's aware that it's a long shot? Throws him the smallest bone. ]
[DON'T JUST SWERVE AND KILL HIM. He's probably right though, Nadia would be on his side. Lucas is just left out here suffering... FOR WHAT. His brow furrows faintly. THE THING IS he definitely does not recall that memory, but he does absolutely recall the person in it.]
It really wasn't a memory of mine... [HE IS STAUNCH. His memory really is just a paper snowflake that's full of holes, but it's fine. He is not from the route where any of those things come back to him.]
In any case, Ceres was a dear student of mine. She also died a half-year or so before I did, the first time.
[HE FUCKING DID THIS. Lucas like "she died" (hides halberd behind his back).]
[ It is funny that Lucas can push all he wants, but Jacopo doesn't pay it any mind. The girl has a name and she's real. ]
... That's quite young. [ If Lucas is an aged, dying teacher, then his student is likely maybe approaching twenty? ] So you didn't get a chance to reconnect before you found yourself here?
[ Like in Heaven, or somewhere in the realm of souls. There's always still a chance, you know? ]
[Jacopo is obstinate about the funniest things. The way that 18 is so young but also so old in Arpechele years, but because of who Lucas is as a person and how much he fusses over everyone, he still ended up treating her young.
To the question, he just shakes his head.]
This is the first place that I wandered to after my second death.
[There was no real chance for him to run into her, since his trajectory was truly Arpechele to Heaven to Arpechele to Jacopo's funky little dream world.]
I do hope to see her in Heaven, at least. Considering we only saw the smallest fraction of it, she could very well be out there... I know that her soul will have gone to Heaven regardless of which one it may be.
[He is SO sure of this. The way Nadia will also make it to the same Heaven Lucas is at since Jonas will fucking pull strings for him, hilarious. He really did learn nothing at all except that trusting in God really is the answer sometimes. ANYWAY more importantly:]
[ He will have to trust Lucas because none of you gave him memories where Ceres was present, but he has heard of her... She reminded him of someone, though it ended up being more of a rollercoaster of mirror images.
It is a shame that Lucas didn't find a partner, though a small one. Jacopo doesn't think romantic love is necessary to live a fulfilling life, in the end... In spite of being a victim of a maddening love. ]
Then I hope you two can reunite soon.
[ And that it doesn't take centuries. The memory might have been not real, not remembered, whatever it is, but the emotions were difficult to deny.
This comes with some apprehension in comparison to Lucas' lack of love life. ]
[LUCAS GAVE HIM ONE!!!!!! It's not his fault he does not remember it... Why do so many fantasy French people remind Jacopo of the French people he has at home.
Lucas does not think it's a shame, though. Even a small one. There are so many other things going on in his life that throwing romance into the mix would just kill his ass (metaphorically) (literally as well), and then he'd just join Jacopo in the hell of having a maddening love that he never got over rather than one that ended abruptly because he's mad in other ways.]
Thank you.
[He still says this with full kindness and appreciation, at least... He does still care for Ceres, and maybe some of that love still exists, too, even though everything became so insanely complicated. MORE IMPORTANTLY, HIS SISTER. His smile softens, and though there's a touch of something sorrowful to it, there's something hopeful, too.]
She's still alive and was showing a good deal of promise on a new treatment. I likely won't be seeing her again for some time, but she'll thoroughly enjoy being able to meet everyone once she's able.
[ It is more like gloomy people remind him of Morgana, but she is mean-spirited.
Sometimes, love is complicated, especially when it ended up being the last piece of your happiest moments. It becomes a testament of how detestable you can be because love was not enough. They can maybe share that, but Lucas... Had so many circumstances.
I wish I could say Jacopo would be suspicious of watching Lucas and Ceres interact, but Lucas is quite normal around her most of the time. ]
You won't get lonely without her?
[ Overall, he's pleased to hear that Nadia will lead a fulfilling life... Even if it could be a short one, promise is good. ]
[HELP. There are a lot of gloomy people but not a lot of mean-spirited gloomy people it's true and hilarious.
They can share that in some lifetimes, it is true. Sometimes love is just not enough! Arguably, actually, that's the case in this Lucas' lifetime because romantic love definitely did not win over brainwashing, and the love he has for his sister in every version of reality is still rarely if ever enough to save her. It's fine. Everyone has so many circumstances.
Lucas is normal-passing in general unfortunately, it is the biggest problem he presents. No one knows to be wary of his ass and even when they do, they still do not fully grasp the extent of wariness that's needed.]
Oh, no, I'll be terribly lonely. [Said with a BIG HAMMY SIGH, and it's only partially to cover up how true the words are.] But I'd rather be lonely for some time and know that she's having a chance to live a more proper, fuller life, compared to having her company but knowing that her life was cut short for it.
[Even if Heaven is such a nice place to be... No tuberculosis, endless free food, perfect weather, fun people... The cage... What's not to love!!]
[ this is why all blonds should be buried ceres and lucas can be buried together
There's a part of him that regrets asking... But he listens without interrupting or mocking him, even though it's ever so tempting. He musters all the mental fortitude he has to not make a face. ]
Then you'll be waiting for her in Heaven? And you're going to continue your eternity there.
[DON'T JUST PLANT HIM IN THE DIRT LIKE A FLOWER TOO his horrible sickly body would poison the soil more. Well actually he's curseless now so it'd just be the millions drugs poisoning the soil probably.
He should just make a face. JUST INTERRUPT OR MOCK HIM, HE'S BEING SO ANNOYING ON PURPOSE!!]
That's certainly where Nadia is heading, so where else would I go?
[He asks this as a light question, and there's little actual curiosity in it in the sort of way that implies he just assumes everyone would default to continuing eternity in paradise. Even if that paradise was attacked by Alex once.]
... I had wondered if you ever considered starting over.
[ Because life is unfair and cruel. Because you can only make decisions from a series of limited choices that the circumstances you're born in can offer you. Because you haven't amounted to much, accomplished anything, or done good for anyone who mattered to you.
Or perhaps that's just Jacopo who still to this point doesn't think he deserves a place in paradise, whether he is of partial or full blame for his sins. A part of him doesn't seek eternal penance anymore, but... Maybe this is greed. ]
Want to check out the town now?
[ Taking a stand, he places a hand on his hip and looks down at Lucas. He's still an artistic blur, but easily perceived as himself despite the lack of definition. ]
Starting over? [Maybe there is some of that deep and reflexive discomfort that he's become so good at ignoring when he thinks of this what-if scenario in which he can start anew entirely. Even if there is, it's a private thing he keeps to himself, rather than showing any hesitance or uncertainty. Rather than answering, he just poses a question that's simple and doesn't actually press for an answer.]
Would you wish to?
[He does not know that Jacopo basically already HAS. HIS REINCARNATIONS... This is fine. The way he doesn't even ask if Jacopo intends on going to Heaven (yet, at least) because it simply does not occur to him that even a man filled with varying shades of guilt would pass it up.
But when the conversation shifts, he shifts easily with it, smiling up at Jacopo's blurryass self.]
I would love to. [Up to his feet he rises, graceful as he ever is. A little teasingly:] I wonder if you'll become even clearer there.
[ A roll of his eyes when Lucas points out his blurry form. Jacopo gestures to follow him through the wheat since the road is a bit of a distance. The spikes bend to their steps and the imagery on the horizon draws closer.
This illusory world flickers with memories of the New World... Friendship—a pact he thought to be eternal. Love—a miracle he wanted to cherish. Betrayal—circumstances. Madness—inevitable. Death—alone. It's a checklist. The golden fields are stained with blood for a second before it fades away like water diluting paint. ]
That's what I originally wanted to do after I made amends. The last time wasn't so great, so it's tempting to consider a third.
[ A chance without a millennia's worth of circumstances where he can be the man he had wanted to be, or the man he was meant to be. They're words spoken to him by others and it had been hard to believe those voices. Redemption rang hollow when he was alive so long ago, barely rang at all when he was dead so long ago, and even now he doesn't know if it rings at all.
It's still a fanciful dream that speaks to him in the fog. ]
[NOT THE SUDDEN BLOOD the way Lucas absolutely gets jumpscared by that because he's lulled so quickly into states of complacency, comfort, calm. It gives him just a moment's pause, just a barely-there beat of hesitation in his steps forward, and there's a moment where his gaze remains anchored on the wheat even after the flicker of blood begins to bleed back away.
Well. That's probably fine. He shakes his head faintly, turning his attention back to Jacopo as they head toward the road.]
A third... [Quietly mulling that and the implications of it over.] But don't you wish to rest?
[Or is it that he won't be able to rest if he doesn't find a way to have a cycle he's satisfied with, even if he gets to go to paradise?]
It's surely more than entertainment, but there are much better places to find your fun regardless, I'd think.
[ Nothing bad has ever happened here. Nothing bad will happen here. That doesn't mean that he hasn't done bad, however. This illusory world is but a reflection of a soul's wishes and wants, but it remembers itself like how Jacopo remembers his own shape.
It's gold, blue, and beautiful. No blood to seep into the soil and nurture the grain. They're at the outskirts of the town now. It's quaint with very few towering buildings, though the ones do tower are grand. The architecture is a testament to antiquity as an island situated in the Mediterranean sea. It's not quite west European, but a mix with Arab and Greco-Roman. Norman (French), Arab, and Byzantine coming together to create this unique style of arches, domes, and pillars.
They press on into the streets, already meeting children playing with small wooden toys on the streets and running around. There are adults as well, chatting here and there. They give the two of them a friendly wave and a warm smile, welcoming Jacopo back. Did he bring a friend? They all have clear faces and outlines while Jacopo stays a blur. ]
I do wish to rest. [ A part of him wants to rest in a more permanent sense, another part a temporary sense, and then another part is restless. ] But I feel... That I can do more. Don't you feel the same way?
[This world can stop being a mirror into Jacopo's soul at any time (that's what keeps its shape) ANY TIME........
But it's fine; Lucas is adept at ignoring things he doesn't like, and so he will just ignore that little surprising flash seamlessly. It becomes easier to do once they enter the city proper, and even the outskirts are bustling with life. He hums a little, immediately curious about the difference between the people inhabiting the town and Jacopo himself. This lil blurry guy...
With a smile and a wave in return, he addresses Jacopo a bit quietly:] Are they visitors as well?
[Other people like himself, he means - people who have happened across this world and have, for whatever reason, perhaps chosen to stay here. Maybe Jacopo's created something like a Heaven himself, whether intentionally or not. The question is one he sits on for a moment, though, turning it over in his head as he also considers I do wish to rest.]
...I suppose anyone would, if given the chance to stop and think about it. [Or maybe it's just another manifestation of his selfishness.] But if you keep thinking of all the things you could still do and haven't done yet, you may truly never be able to rest.
[ Said without much thought. Jacopo seems incredibly cognizant with Lucas, but it seems some parts of him are drawn to the reverie. He doesn't see all of this as an illusion, even if he calls it a dream. What wrong is there to indulge in peace?
What it represents, who knows. Jacopo doesn't think more on it, leading Lucas to the center of the town which holds a sizable market with many stalls. There are wares, produce, and services. The people waves and greet, friendly and open. It feels like home. ]
I'm not so far gone where I'd keep repeating. One more time is it. [ And it can be over. ] So you're saying your answer is yes?
[ Rather than general insight, he narrows it back to asking for Lucas' answer. He even turns to him, imagery flickering to someone clear. His eyes are sharp, angled, and the brown color of his irises are bold and warm. His hair matches in color, wavy though not messy. His outline becomes clear from his jaw, neck, shoulders, and all. ]
Next time you don't need to exorcise any demons. You could be free.
Oh? [THEY LIVE HERE???? His brow furrows faintly, obscured as it mostly is behind his fringe, as he glances out toward all of the definitely very realistic-seeming people.] I see...
[He does not, but who is he to question the logic of this little pocket of reality, damn. If Jacopo says they live here, maybe it's not an illusion! He is not wont to question things to begin with.
Especially not when the overall atmosphere of the place is so lovely. It reminds him of the hustle and bustle of the markets back home, but with the marked improvement of people not being fucking insane or dying on the streets randomly. Though he balances the conversation well, he does pause now and then to wave at some of the people they pass by or engage in a bit of small talk or banter here and there.]
So you'll be returning once more, then? [To life rather than proceeding to the afterlife... Sadge. But he just nods, tucking whatever feelings he might have on the matter away.] I wish you the best... I hope that you're able to find what you're looking for this time.
[Stop asking him things though damn. The sudden clearness of his image in place of all the blur is just a tiny bit startling, but he doesn't spend overly-long pondering on that, either.]
My personal answer wouldn't be yes. [He'd stepped around giving it directly, but he would never try for a second life without the guarantee Nadia would be there with him.] I should hope that I wouldn't need to do such a thing in the afterlife, regardless.
[ They are imaginary people living in an imaginary world Jacopo made in this little pocket of the afterlife. I and he are glad that Lucas thinks the tomb is nice. The people have proper conversation with unique lines and personalities. Some are rowdier than others, some more likable, but overall no one here can be called a bad person.
However, they are business people in the markets here. They will try to sell, barter, and haggle. Even if Lucas is new, he isn't spared, but Jacopo will firmly cut those negotiations. Lucas has no money, he says. Not a coin to spare. He used it all on his prim and proper clothes, you see.
Oh, that makes sense, the people respond. The guy looks like a noble. However, if he ever wants to trade some of his robes? They're open to that since the quality looks good, but no, no. Jacopo tells them Lucas wouldn't dare bare an ankle if he were to trade and buy cheaper clothes here. The people just nod slowly. Seems stuffy and their clothes are better for the climate, but sure. ]
That's a shame. [ Not that he'd show he's disappointed. He tells himself he wasn't expecting anything since it was a general question. ] I thought we could have had an adventure. A better one.
[ He thinks this can also be "free." foolish of him the mortal coil is such a struggle ]
[YOU REALLY JUST MAKE HIM GO ON THIS WHOLE JOURNEY WHERE PEOPLE WANT TO BARTER HIS CLOTHES RIGHT OFF HIS BODY. This is fine. These imaginary people that Lucas is not sure are imaginary can judge him for being penniless but still so well-dressed, in clothing that's ill-suited for the climate despite the fact that he feels just fine, probably on account of being a fucking ghost.
Through all of the attempts at bartering, Lucas just lets Jacopo lead the way, like he is simply a shy little guy who does not argue on his own behalf. He throws in a little side remark here and there and is plenty polite to everyone they interact with, but largely defers to Jacopo, who has certainly been here much longer than he himself.
An adventure... A better adventure, though, huh. The mortal coil really is such a struggle but if he has not learned that in hundreds of years, he probably never will.]
Can we not have one here and now? Surely there's no need to wait until we've moved on to what lies beyond this place.
[ Jacopo obviously would react to snide remarks with a squint. You are not allowed? But he doesn't tell him to shut up, of course. No one does. They're all nice, even though Lucas sticks out too much to be here. They don't turn away outsiders.
You saying he's insatiable. He kind of is, but he does ultimately want peace... It just has to battle with other desires and wants, too. It seems like he never considered a venture here in this sleepy and tranquil place based on his quizzical expression. Stroking his chin, he considers it. ]
I guess... Though there's only this town here.
[ There's nothing beyond this bright spot in Jacopo's metaphorical tomb. Nothing bad has ever happened here and nothing bad will happen here. ]
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[ Time in the afterlife is a strange thing. Days do not exist. It is all one moment without a single seam. When a lot of it feels similar, it's hard to know exactly when an hour has passed and onward.
It's not to say he doesn't remember... He remembers some of his trials. He remembers his life as a mafia boss. But he doesn't think it's that important to share right now. Reunions shouldn't be ruined with tragedy and Lucas doesn't need to know he was trapped in a (haha) cage with a fate he couldn't fight.
There is no sorrow in it. He was satisfied with atoning, even though through those years he had wanted to see people again. It was buried under all his guilt, unfortunately. ]
Now... Yourself? Did you marry like your sister wanted you to?
[ LOVE? ]
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[Said with a bit of startled and quiet awe. HELLO. HELP. IT'S BEEN A WHILE, SAID JACOPO, COMPLETELY UNDERSELLING HOW LONG IT'S BEEN. Lucas may lose track of time in the in-between, but his life was short and his stints in afterlives are also short, even with time bleeding into itself sometimes in the way it seems to do in this realm. He presses his fingertips lightly against his mouth for a moment, the gesture both thoughtful and reflecting some of his surprise.]
It's certainly been much longer for you than I, in that case.
[Multiple lifetimes! So many years of punishment... His fucking CAGE!! Sometimes you cage someone while you yourself are in the cage. It's not the circle of life out here but the circle of caging and being caged.
The question has him lifting his hand away from his face and waving it gently through the air in a soft sign of dismissal, though.]
I wasn't able to give her that, unfortunately... [Sometimes you love one person and then kill that person because they fall in love with Satan and then never find love again.] Though she'd be quite pleased to know that you asked after her wants so soon. I've already faced more than enough teasing over it, though.
[He was not teased, it was very depressing since Nadia just wanted him to get married quickly so she could SEE IT BEFORE SHE DIED but it's fine. Reunions shouldn't be ruined with tragedy.]
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Then that just means I have less to catch up on.
[ That's a nice sentiment, isn't it? Less feeling like he has missed out so much in people's lives, not that he had the right to see them or be a part of it. He will have to listen to them as stories and tales... Play them in his mind with whatever vivid imagination he can scrounge up.
The hand gesture already prepares him for the answer, shoulders already slackening in disappointment even though he doesn't care too much about love lives. However... Seeing people happy is good. That is what Nadia wanted? She should be happy. What about Lucas? This is about Nadia. ]
How come? You didn't pursue? They found someone else?
[ not the slaughter ]
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I suppose that's true...
[WHAT A WAY OF LOOKING AT IT but it is indeed true. Hundreds of years have passed for one of them and not even a decade for the other. Probably not even one single full year, honestly. The time he had while alive (again) was jam-packed with insane bullshit, but they're also not things he's particularly inclined to discuss ever, and especially not in this place made up of all things ideal.
Caring about Nadia is the right move to make in any case. Lucas would also agree. WHAT ABOUT HIM, THIS IS ABOUT NADIA!! He speaks with a touch of wry amusement.]
You assume that I had a person in mind to pursue in the first place.
[He did not. Not really, considering he'd never intended to make any sort of move and was just satisfied to support Ceres and her happiness from afar, but he prefers to speak like he never had any prospects in the first place. The same answer he'd give to Nadia: there's no one like that in my life.]
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There was that girl in that memory that you claimed to not remember or have.
[ Jacopo still remembers and has long started doubting a lot of what Lucas says about his own memories... It's not out of malice or distaste for his character, but his condition and state. Even if Lucas' mind wasn't full of holes, he's aware that it's a long shot? Throws him the smallest bone. ]
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It really wasn't a memory of mine... [HE IS STAUNCH. His memory really is just a paper snowflake that's full of holes, but it's fine. He is not from the route where any of those things come back to him.]
In any case, Ceres was a dear student of mine. She also died a half-year or so before I did, the first time.
[HE FUCKING DID THIS. Lucas like "she died" (hides halberd behind his back).]
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... That's quite young. [ If Lucas is an aged, dying teacher, then his student is likely maybe approaching twenty? ] So you didn't get a chance to reconnect before you found yourself here?
[ Like in Heaven, or somewhere in the realm of souls. There's always still a chance, you know? ]
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To the question, he just shakes his head.]
This is the first place that I wandered to after my second death.
[There was no real chance for him to run into her, since his trajectory was truly Arpechele to Heaven to Arpechele to Jacopo's funky little dream world.]
I do hope to see her in Heaven, at least. Considering we only saw the smallest fraction of it, she could very well be out there... I know that her soul will have gone to Heaven regardless of which one it may be.
[He is SO sure of this. The way Nadia will also make it to the same Heaven Lucas is at since Jonas will fucking pull strings for him, hilarious. He really did learn nothing at all except that trusting in God really is the answer sometimes. ANYWAY more importantly:]
But she would love to meet everyone.
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It is a shame that Lucas didn't find a partner, though a small one. Jacopo doesn't think romantic love is necessary to live a fulfilling life, in the end... In spite of being a victim of a maddening love. ]
Then I hope you two can reunite soon.
[ And that it doesn't take centuries. The memory might have been not real, not remembered, whatever it is, but the emotions were difficult to deny.
This comes with some apprehension in comparison to Lucas' lack of love life. ]
And your sister...
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Lucas does not think it's a shame, though. Even a small one. There are so many other things going on in his life that throwing romance into the mix would just kill his ass (metaphorically) (literally as well), and then he'd just join Jacopo in the hell of having a maddening love that he never got over rather than one that ended abruptly because he's mad in other ways.]
Thank you.
[He still says this with full kindness and appreciation, at least... He does still care for Ceres, and maybe some of that love still exists, too, even though everything became so insanely complicated. MORE IMPORTANTLY, HIS SISTER. His smile softens, and though there's a touch of something sorrowful to it, there's something hopeful, too.]
She's still alive and was showing a good deal of promise on a new treatment. I likely won't be seeing her again for some time, but she'll thoroughly enjoy being able to meet everyone once she's able.
[A LONG TIME FROM NOW........]
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Sometimes, love is complicated, especially when it ended up being the last piece of your happiest moments. It becomes a testament of how detestable you can be because love was not enough. They can maybe share that, but Lucas... Had so many circumstances.
I wish I could say Jacopo would be suspicious of watching Lucas and Ceres interact, but Lucas is quite normal around her most of the time. ]
You won't get lonely without her?
[ Overall, he's pleased to hear that Nadia will lead a fulfilling life... Even if it could be a short one, promise is good. ]
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They can share that in some lifetimes, it is true. Sometimes love is just not enough! Arguably, actually, that's the case in this Lucas' lifetime because romantic love definitely did not win over brainwashing, and the love he has for his sister in every version of reality is still rarely if ever enough to save her. It's fine. Everyone has so many circumstances.
Lucas is normal-passing in general unfortunately, it is the biggest problem he presents. No one knows to be wary of his ass and even when they do, they still do not fully grasp the extent of wariness that's needed.]
Oh, no, I'll be terribly lonely. [Said with a BIG HAMMY SIGH, and it's only partially to cover up how true the words are.] But I'd rather be lonely for some time and know that she's having a chance to live a more proper, fuller life, compared to having her company but knowing that her life was cut short for it.
[Even if Heaven is such a nice place to be... No tuberculosis, endless free food, perfect weather, fun people... The cage... What's not to love!!]
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There's a part of him that regrets asking... But he listens without interrupting or mocking him, even though it's ever so tempting. He musters all the mental fortitude he has to not make a face. ]
Then you'll be waiting for her in Heaven? And you're going to continue your eternity there.
[ What is left after death? ]
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He should just make a face. JUST INTERRUPT OR MOCK HIM, HE'S BEING SO ANNOYING ON PURPOSE!!]
That's certainly where Nadia is heading, so where else would I go?
[He asks this as a light question, and there's little actual curiosity in it in the sort of way that implies he just assumes everyone would default to continuing eternity in paradise. Even if that paradise was attacked by Alex once.]
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... I had wondered if you ever considered starting over.
[ Because life is unfair and cruel. Because you can only make decisions from a series of limited choices that the circumstances you're born in can offer you. Because you haven't amounted to much, accomplished anything, or done good for anyone who mattered to you.
Or perhaps that's just Jacopo who still to this point doesn't think he deserves a place in paradise, whether he is of partial or full blame for his sins. A part of him doesn't seek eternal penance anymore, but... Maybe this is greed. ]
Want to check out the town now?
[ Taking a stand, he places a hand on his hip and looks down at Lucas. He's still an artistic blur, but easily perceived as himself despite the lack of definition. ]
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Starting over? [Maybe there is some of that deep and reflexive discomfort that he's become so good at ignoring when he thinks of this what-if scenario in which he can start anew entirely. Even if there is, it's a private thing he keeps to himself, rather than showing any hesitance or uncertainty. Rather than answering, he just poses a question that's simple and doesn't actually press for an answer.]
Would you wish to?
[He does not know that Jacopo basically already HAS. HIS REINCARNATIONS... This is fine. The way he doesn't even ask if Jacopo intends on going to Heaven (yet, at least) because it simply does not occur to him that even a man filled with varying shades of guilt would pass it up.
But when the conversation shifts, he shifts easily with it, smiling up at Jacopo's blurryass self.]
I would love to. [Up to his feet he rises, graceful as he ever is. A little teasingly:] I wonder if you'll become even clearer there.
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This illusory world flickers with memories of the New World... Friendship—a pact he thought to be eternal. Love—a miracle he wanted to cherish. Betrayal—circumstances. Madness—inevitable. Death—alone. It's a checklist. The golden fields are stained with blood for a second before it fades away like water diluting paint. ]
That's what I originally wanted to do after I made amends. The last time wasn't so great, so it's tempting to consider a third.
[ A chance without a millennia's worth of circumstances where he can be the man he had wanted to be, or the man he was meant to be. They're words spoken to him by others and it had been hard to believe those voices. Redemption rang hollow when he was alive so long ago, barely rang at all when he was dead so long ago, and even now he doesn't know if it rings at all.
It's still a fanciful dream that speaks to him in the fog. ]
It could be fun.
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Well. That's probably fine. He shakes his head faintly, turning his attention back to Jacopo as they head toward the road.]
A third... [Quietly mulling that and the implications of it over.] But don't you wish to rest?
[Or is it that he won't be able to rest if he doesn't find a way to have a cycle he's satisfied with, even if he gets to go to paradise?]
It's surely more than entertainment, but there are much better places to find your fun regardless, I'd think.
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It's gold, blue, and beautiful. No blood to seep into the soil and nurture the grain. They're at the outskirts of the town now. It's quaint with very few towering buildings, though the ones do tower are grand. The architecture is a testament to antiquity as an island situated in the Mediterranean sea. It's not quite west European, but a mix with Arab and Greco-Roman. Norman (French), Arab, and Byzantine coming together to create this unique style of arches, domes, and pillars.
They press on into the streets, already meeting children playing with small wooden toys on the streets and running around. There are adults as well, chatting here and there. They give the two of them a friendly wave and a warm smile, welcoming Jacopo back. Did he bring a friend? They all have clear faces and outlines while Jacopo stays a blur. ]
I do wish to rest. [ A part of him wants to rest in a more permanent sense, another part a temporary sense, and then another part is restless. ] But I feel... That I can do more. Don't you feel the same way?
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But it's fine; Lucas is adept at ignoring things he doesn't like, and so he will just ignore that little surprising flash seamlessly. It becomes easier to do once they enter the city proper, and even the outskirts are bustling with life. He hums a little, immediately curious about the difference between the people inhabiting the town and Jacopo himself. This lil blurry guy...
With a smile and a wave in return, he addresses Jacopo a bit quietly:] Are they visitors as well?
[Other people like himself, he means - people who have happened across this world and have, for whatever reason, perhaps chosen to stay here. Maybe Jacopo's created something like a Heaven himself, whether intentionally or not. The question is one he sits on for a moment, though, turning it over in his head as he also considers I do wish to rest.]
...I suppose anyone would, if given the chance to stop and think about it. [Or maybe it's just another manifestation of his selfishness.] But if you keep thinking of all the things you could still do and haven't done yet, you may truly never be able to rest.
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[ Said without much thought. Jacopo seems incredibly cognizant with Lucas, but it seems some parts of him are drawn to the reverie. He doesn't see all of this as an illusion, even if he calls it a dream. What wrong is there to indulge in peace?
What it represents, who knows. Jacopo doesn't think more on it, leading Lucas to the center of the town which holds a sizable market with many stalls. There are wares, produce, and services. The people waves and greet, friendly and open. It feels like home. ]
I'm not so far gone where I'd keep repeating. One more time is it. [ And it can be over. ] So you're saying your answer is yes?
[ Rather than general insight, he narrows it back to asking for Lucas' answer. He even turns to him, imagery flickering to someone clear. His eyes are sharp, angled, and the brown color of his irises are bold and warm. His hair matches in color, wavy though not messy. His outline becomes clear from his jaw, neck, shoulders, and all. ]
Next time you don't need to exorcise any demons. You could be free.
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[He does not, but who is he to question the logic of this little pocket of reality, damn. If Jacopo says they live here, maybe it's not an illusion! He is not wont to question things to begin with.
Especially not when the overall atmosphere of the place is so lovely. It reminds him of the hustle and bustle of the markets back home, but with the marked improvement of people not being fucking insane or dying on the streets randomly. Though he balances the conversation well, he does pause now and then to wave at some of the people they pass by or engage in a bit of small talk or banter here and there.]
So you'll be returning once more, then? [To life rather than proceeding to the afterlife... Sadge. But he just nods, tucking whatever feelings he might have on the matter away.] I wish you the best... I hope that you're able to find what you're looking for this time.
[Stop asking him things though damn. The sudden clearness of his image in place of all the blur is just a tiny bit startling, but he doesn't spend overly-long pondering on that, either.]
My personal answer wouldn't be yes. [He'd stepped around giving it directly, but he would never try for a second life without the guarantee Nadia would be there with him.] I should hope that I wouldn't need to do such a thing in the afterlife, regardless.
[FREE... All Relivers go to hell.]
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However, they are business people in the markets here. They will try to sell, barter, and haggle. Even if Lucas is new, he isn't spared, but Jacopo will firmly cut those negotiations. Lucas has no money, he says. Not a coin to spare. He used it all on his prim and proper clothes, you see.
Oh, that makes sense, the people respond. The guy looks like a noble. However, if he ever wants to trade some of his robes? They're open to that since the quality looks good, but no, no. Jacopo tells them Lucas wouldn't dare bare an ankle if he were to trade and buy cheaper clothes here. The people just nod slowly. Seems stuffy and their clothes are better for the climate, but sure. ]
That's a shame. [ Not that he'd show he's disappointed. He tells himself he wasn't expecting anything since it was a general question. ] I thought we could have had an adventure. A better one.
[ He thinks this can also be "free." foolish of him the mortal coil is such a struggle ]
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Through all of the attempts at bartering, Lucas just lets Jacopo lead the way, like he is simply a shy little guy who does not argue on his own behalf. He throws in a little side remark here and there and is plenty polite to everyone they interact with, but largely defers to Jacopo, who has certainly been here much longer than he himself.
An adventure... A better adventure, though, huh. The mortal coil really is such a struggle but if he has not learned that in hundreds of years, he probably never will.]
Can we not have one here and now? Surely there's no need to wait until we've moved on to what lies beyond this place.
[DEATH or life again. Or being departicled.]
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You saying he's insatiable. He kind of is, but he does ultimately want peace... It just has to battle with other desires and wants, too. It seems like he never considered a venture here in this sleepy and tranquil place based on his quizzical expression. Stroking his chin, he considers it. ]
I guess... Though there's only this town here.
[ There's nothing beyond this bright spot in Jacopo's metaphorical tomb. Nothing bad has ever happened here and nothing bad will happen here. ]
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