HOMOPHONIC PSL ✦ JUST ONE YESTERDAY

[bitemark]

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[crucifer]

[ Beat pause. ]

No.

[ Well maybe, he's done a lot of merc work but he's not a wino so he never bothered actually remembering high tastes so it may as well be a no. ]

Are you sure you didn't steal pompadour's fancy hidden stash?

[piteous]

[ Vash takes another simple sippy and again his eyebrows furrow together, confused all over again... Like this glass shouldn't be in his hand, this bottle shouldn't be in their room. They're beer from a can at the local liquor store people. ]

There's no way Brad could have something like this.

[ Just nonchalantly insults Brad for 1) not being able to afford something like this or 2) not having refined taste for it. Brad's only became of age recently, so... Vash thinks it's fine to say it as it is. Some silence. ]

Well, I can't really give it back...

[crucifer]

[ It's his birthday, maybe someone got him a fancy bottle. Also this is fantasy Texas they never respect the drinking rules. ]

...

[ Just letting this weird-ass silence ruminate for a moment, but at least for Wolfwood, there's starting to be this level of disbelief. ]

Well, did you bring it back for drinking or not? Stop actin' like it's holy water -- alcohol is alcohol!

[piteous]

[ They're really just standing there like idiots until Wolfwood decides to say something.

He startles into a clownish yelp, almost dropping his glass but he catches it, and places it on the desk so he can pour them the holy water wine.

There! With their cured meats and single choice of cheese! It's ready! ]

[crucifer]

[ i'm struglinf

he takes a piece of cheese politely because outside forces are condemning him

goodbye ]

[piteous]

[ watches him struggle as he eats some cheese i guess ]

[crucifer]

[ The struggle continues. Now they're just quietly eating cheese. ]

[piteous]

[ Feeds him a slice of salami as the struggle continues? ]

Hard to go wrong with meat and cheese!

[ And he will... Sip his glass daintily, unlike how he usually drinks alcohol. He's scared of the wine. ]

[crucifer]

I told you to stop actin' like you're drinking gold, you're making it feel weird to drink.

[ Granted it's not like he'd exactly do shots of normal wine let alone expensive ones but still!! ]

Cards?

[ The cards he pulled out earlier! ]

[piteous]

I'm just a little scared that drinking it too fast will do something to me.

[ What if he changes as a person?! But he'll start drinking the wine normally, smacking his lips as he pairs it with some cheese.

There's a moment as he tries to figure out if the combination is as amazing as people say, but gets distracted. ]

Sure! Let's play.

[crucifer]

Like what? You ain't gettin' drunk on whiskey let alone wine, idiot. Is drinking even any fun for you?

[ Can you even drink to forget when you can just flush it out of your system in the blink of an eye? He picks up the cards and starts shuffling them with ease. ]

Whaddya wanna play?

[piteous]

It is! I enjoy it during a party or just on my own at a motel room!

[ You can drink to forget if you allowed yourself to? Sometimes you drink for the light buzz that softens the edges of oppression. However, if he needs to be alert and sober, then he can instantly snap to that state. ]

Uh... I guess we can do that one game they played at the Underground that we didn't really get to enjoy because memories were flying out like crazy. Maybe with less rules? Since it's the two of us. [ Strokes chin. ] Poker's good, too. Old maid?

[ I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOOD CARD GAMES T O PLAY ]

[crucifer]

[ The oppression. . . ]

You're gonna have to be a bit more specific. The King's... Game? Cup? Or whatever? [ The one where they gave you cards with prompts? ] Old Maid's a classic.

[ He'd say strip poker just to be funny but Wolfwood only has like 1-2 layers max and Vash is also either the same or he has that nightmare leather outfit so it just sounds like it'd go downhill really fast. ]

[piteous]

[ I typed depression and I guess my autocorrect said your typo is not that it's this ]

I think so... I didn't really get to play it.

[ Because it was memshare week and instead he drank a bunch of alcohol to fake pass out because he was miserable and anxious about pigs coming to get them in front of everyone and god. He nibbles on some cheese as he recalls the rules. ]

We can change some of the rules so it fits two people, but Old Maid really is a classic.

[ If they had more people they could strip poker... Or if they had more clothes. Granted, if Vash was wearing his usual get up he'd win by simply taking off a belt per loss.

He has a lot of belts.

He's in one of his civilian outfits though. ]

[crucifer]

[ I don't even remember what I did there I think Wolfwood was not enthused to be there but he forced himself to be because he was hellbent on winning resources for their team. Sometimes the lengths you will go to for your problematic red-yellow porcupine. ]

Why not combine both. You take a card, and if it fits the criteria, we do the thing.

[ Sound good? ]

[piteous]

[ How is he problematic?! He's just a quirky little hedgehog. ]

Sounds good to me.

[ Drawing for Wolfwood, he has an ace between two of his fingers.

9: command someone to do something (dare)
10: kiss the second nearest person
JACK: tell a funny or weird story
QUEEN: ask a question that a person must answer (truth)
KING: finish your entire drink
ACE: do something you've never done before

And with that, he also starts the old maid game with an ace, I guess. Don't ask. ]

[crucifer]

[ You are problematic.

He has to think about this because what he's never done before... that's such a broad umbrella?? After a moment of contemplation, he eats a little piece of cheese and then chasers it with beer.

Is it pleasant. I don't know because I don't drink beer rl so I cannot imagine this taste combo. Presumably it's slightly make-a-face worthy. ]

Bad texture.

[ HIS ONLY COMMENT before he goes to pick a card out of Vash's hand. He shows him a Jack before discarding a pair. ]

[piteous]

You think so? I kind of like it.

[ It's hard for him to dislike cheese... Because he may be white. That's to be debated by historians to come. He continues to eat the combination that is allegedly optimal, tilting his head and squinting as he appraises each... Note? Is that what the ship culinarians were trying to sell to him.

Chewing some cheese, he looks at the card. ]

... Did I ever tell you I worked as a birthday clown for a bit?

[crucifer]

You like soggy bubbly cheese? Weird-ass.

[ BULLY. He snorts as he has a regular drink of beer to cleanse the weird texture from his mouth, glancing up at him over his hand. ]

Why am I not surprised? Well? What's the embarrassin' bit?

[piteous]

Huh?! You're not supposed to have both at the same time! At least that's what they said.

[ More like one after the other. Wine and cheese? Granted, if he wasn't told, he'd definitely just chew and then drink wine and have soggy cheese. WHY ARE YOU BULLYING HIM.

Let him have some beer because wine is still kind of weird to have. ]

So I was called for a gig and all was fine. The kids were laughing! I was a hit! But then one of them slid a worm up my shirt and I startled straight into the cake and smushed it... I was fired from the agency.

[crucifer]

[ HE SPECIFICALLY SHOTGUNNED IT WITH BEER TO FULFILL THE 'DO SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER DONE' PROMPT. IT WAS TERRIBLE. He'll pass on the can to him sure. ]

You worked for a whole-ass agency to be a clown?

[ THE REST OF IT IS WHATEVER. THIS LAST SENTENCE IS TRULY THE MOST SHOCKING. ]

[piteous]

[ i lack reading comprehension and understanding, but Vash did really mean he likes cheese.

Vash goes quiet and just sips some more beer, but doesn't give it back. In the most serious voice, full of unnecessary gravitas: ]

The birthday clown industry is very serious in some numbered cities...

[crucifer]

That is embarrassing.

[ Why are these clowns competing. Are they copyrighting their clown make-up? Did Vash have to create his own original clown pattern?

Anyway he waves his hand like c'mon, your turn again. Presuming they're playing this Old Maid with just the King's Cup cards and a stray Joker, this shouldn't last too long he thinks. ]

[piteous]

Imagine getting fired from one.

[ Like, wow, the bar is low but it has lowered even more, even though the clowns take their jobs very seriously. Handling children for a day job is not easy.

He pulls out a queen! Ask a question that a person must answer (truth). ]

One thing you like about me that isn't about my gunslinging.

[ He wants to see Wolfwood fumble with words. ]

[crucifer]

Iunno. The industry's not that desperate, is it?

[ How hard is it to get fired from being a clown. Wolfwood imagines he wouldn't hold the job long. People don't like violent clowns, only funny ones. Look, he likes kids, but he's not very good at playing with them at his own expense.

At this point Wolfwood has had an okay amount of drink in him and he looks at the card with slight furrowed brows. Not that he realises it immediately because he doesn't even remember the last time he let his guard down enough to casually keep drinking. ]

Dunno if I'd say I like your gunslinging...

[ Grumbled a little bit. Like, objectively it's impressive. But he had a bone with it in the sense that Vash had all that talent and used it to do anything but what guns were for. Insane behaviour in his eyes, but then again -- ]

Your stupid-ass outlook on life.