[Goodbye Wolfwood. Enjoy talking to your nerdy counterpart.
Kaveh's quiet for a moment, though, looking down into his wine.]
I'm not sure what else there is to say. [If he's honest.] We've known each other a long time--long enough to know that we'll never see eye to eye. His values are completely antithetical to mine.
[...]
It's not always bad. [If he's actually honest.] But inevitably, he says or does something infuriating, and we're right back where we were before. Every other thing he says to me is some kind of criticism.
[ Ready for Wolfwood to be like "live a little" to Alhaitham. ]
Foot in mouth syndrome, huh... Except purposeful. [ Which is kind of awful, honestly. Thinking. ] And you guys talked about it, right? One-on-one, heart to heart.
[They have not because Kaveh is a weenie, but he doesn't even realize what Vash is asking so--]
Of course. I've been telling him for years that all that intelligence of his is an enormous waste if he doesn't use it for other people. I spent half my time in school trying to get him to make other friends.
[Kaveh is exaggerating because Alhaitham does in fact have other people he likes... (Paimon voice) Paimon can't tell which one of them is more problematic]
That's how it can be difficult for someone to tell what levels of upset you are! Sometimes people need a bigger hint.
[ He's just going to jostle them a little into a very fun brotherly side hug, trying to lift spirits since this seems to be a rather pensive topic. Hopefully, that's enough to encourage communication, a conversation that runs deeper than what they're used to. ]
But! I'm not going to force you. I'm here to see you and Sumeru!
[Kaveh is just sitting here like "I don't think gauging how upset I was back then is the problem" but honestly, it doesn't really matter, since he puts all of the blame for the current state of their relationship squarely on himself even though he does genuinely mean it when he complains about Alhaitham's lack of altruism and social grace. In truth, Kaveh's too afraid to confront the issue--he'd contort his logic a thousand different ways to avoid Vash's points, no matter what they are or how solid the logic. Sometimes the current state of your marriage is just INSECURITY WEEK (BASS BOOSTED)
BUT IT'S FINE. Here, safe and comfortable and far away from the game, it's much easier for him to relax and smile, gratefully and smoothly going with the topic change. He leans on Vash for a moment, switching his wine to one hand to pat Vash's.]
Yes, exactly! You don't need to worry--we're fine. [Though he makes a mental note to behave himself and try to bicker with Alhaitham less because he doesn't want Vash and Wolfwood feeling uncomfortable, even if chances are low that they actually would.] We'll be too busy to worry about any of that anyway, there are all kinds of places I'd love to show you both in person. If we have time, maybe we can even take a trip to see Shenhe and Nahri before you leave.
[ Man... Your marriage has problems in the actual relationship itself and some other intrinsic stuff, but Vash knows when not to butt in too much. Until he sees Kaveh break down himself, he has to trust the man can take care of himself even if he has trouble sleeping proper amount of hours.
... Not that Vash can judge. He has pushed himself to his limits before, but he isn't human. Anyway, pat pat pat. ]
Wolfwood and I can visit Shenhe and Nahri on our time unless you want to come along, so let's focus on us here!
[LISTEN maybe they'll swing by the library after the tavern and Kaveh will proudly point out all the Akademiya students pulling all-nighters and go SEE LOOK NORMAL BEHAVIOR even though he's the only person in his immediate friend group who does this and is also a full-grown adult.]
Alright, if that's what you prefer. [Sumeru's big enough that they certainly won't get to every single corner of it unless Vash and Wolfwood stay for like, months, so it's fine.] Oh--remember those large mushrooms? The ones you can jump on? We can go see those--ah, I just remembered, I'll have to get you two some wind gliders as well!
[Kaveh doesn't know that Vash can technically fly but even if he did it's funnier to picture them gliding around like Genshins]
[ And Vash will... Again... Point out to Kaveh that is not normal. He tilts his head, making the assumptions on wind gliders. Sure, he has flown before, then there's also the wings bit, too, but neither of those are like wind gliders.
Plus, he has no power, so no wings. ]
I don't know how comfortable Wolfwood will be with a wind glider. That's gonna be funny.
Also not Vash immediately looking forward to this HELP. Unfortunately for Wolfwood, Kaveh will take Vash's side in almost anything on any day.]
It's either that, or one of us carries him. [And he assumes it would be Vash, which would also be hilarious. Wolfwood the skrunkly, tenderly princess-carried across a ravine by his paramour...]
[ It's mostly about Alhaitham, isn't it. Why won't Kaveh just trust his intuition? He can do calculus. Even though Kaveh is posing a hypothetical, Vash's expression deflates, wry and unwilling.
This is also a joke, a simple display. Sometimes, you are hammy for the fun of it. ]
Oh, he's heavy.
[ Says Vash who can carry the punisher without a problem. ]
[Nah, for once it's not actually about Alhaitham. Kaveh is just a ridiculous workaholic with poor self-care habits... if anything, Alhaitham is the only one tethering Kaveh to some semblance of a healthy routine. Will Kaveh ever realize he's married? Unclear. For now, he's just happy to joke around with Vash like this, relaxed and playful in a way that was so incredibly rare to see during the game.]
You can borrow Mehrak, if you'd like. It's back to full functionality. [Imagine if Vash had the power to levitate Wolfwood with a suitcase]
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no subject
Kaveh's quiet for a moment, though, looking down into his wine.]
I'm not sure what else there is to say. [If he's honest.] We've known each other a long time--long enough to know that we'll never see eye to eye. His values are completely antithetical to mine.
[...]
It's not always bad. [If he's actually honest.] But inevitably, he says or does something infuriating, and we're right back where we were before. Every other thing he says to me is some kind of criticism.
no subject
Foot in mouth syndrome, huh... Except purposeful. [ Which is kind of awful, honestly. Thinking. ] And you guys talked about it, right? One-on-one, heart to heart.
no subject
Of course. I've been telling him for years that all that intelligence of his is an enormous waste if he doesn't use it for other people. I spent half my time in school trying to get him to make other friends.
[Kaveh is exaggerating because Alhaitham does in fact have other people he likes... (Paimon voice) Paimon can't tell which one of them is more problematic]
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... I meant more that what he said hurt your feelings.
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It was obvious enough. I'm... not a subtle person, when I'm upset.
[Meaning he viciously lashes out in return, only to deeply regret it later.]
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[ He's just going to jostle them a little into a very fun brotherly side hug, trying to lift spirits since this seems to be a rather pensive topic. Hopefully, that's enough to encourage communication, a conversation that runs deeper than what they're used to. ]
But! I'm not going to force you. I'm here to see you and Sumeru!
no subject
BUT IT'S FINE. Here, safe and comfortable and far away from the game, it's much easier for him to relax and smile, gratefully and smoothly going with the topic change. He leans on Vash for a moment, switching his wine to one hand to pat Vash's.]
Yes, exactly! You don't need to worry--we're fine. [Though he makes a mental note to behave himself and try to bicker with Alhaitham less because he doesn't want Vash and Wolfwood feeling uncomfortable, even if chances are low that they actually would.] We'll be too busy to worry about any of that anyway, there are all kinds of places I'd love to show you both in person. If we have time, maybe we can even take a trip to see Shenhe and Nahri before you leave.
no subject
... Not that Vash can judge. He has pushed himself to his limits before, but he isn't human. Anyway, pat pat pat. ]
Wolfwood and I can visit Shenhe and Nahri on our time unless you want to come along, so let's focus on us here!
no subject
Alright, if that's what you prefer. [Sumeru's big enough that they certainly won't get to every single corner of it unless Vash and Wolfwood stay for like, months, so it's fine.] Oh--remember those large mushrooms? The ones you can jump on? We can go see those--ah, I just remembered, I'll have to get you two some wind gliders as well!
[Kaveh doesn't know that Vash can technically fly but even if he did it's funnier to picture them gliding around like Genshins]
no subject
Plus, he has no power, so no wings. ]
I don't know how comfortable Wolfwood will be with a wind glider. That's gonna be funny.
[ SNICKERING, MISCHEIVOUSLY ]
no subject
Also not Vash immediately looking forward to this HELP. Unfortunately for Wolfwood, Kaveh will take Vash's side in almost anything on any day.]
It's either that, or one of us carries him. [And he assumes it would be Vash, which would also be hilarious. Wolfwood the skrunkly, tenderly princess-carried across a ravine by his paramour...]
no subject
This is also a joke, a simple display. Sometimes, you are hammy for the fun of it. ]
Oh, he's heavy.
[ Says Vash who can carry the punisher without a problem. ]
no subject
You can borrow Mehrak, if you'd like. It's back to full functionality. [Imagine if Vash had the power to levitate Wolfwood with a suitcase]